Ever feel like life keeps throwing punches and you’re left wondering how some people seem to weather every storm with grace and grit? If you’ve ever wished for a guide to staying strong no matter what, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin might just be the book you didn’t know you needed.
Here’s your personalized cheat sheet to the powerful lessons in this transformative book. Stick around; you might just walk away inspired to make a few changes today.
Why Read This Book?
Life is tough, and mental strength isn’t about being a superhero who never cries or feels down. It’s about bouncing back from setbacks, making choices that align with your values, and learning to let go of what weighs you down.
Amy Morin isn’t just throwing theories at you—her insights come from her own painful experiences and her work as a psychotherapist. She shares actionable tips, relatable examples, and honest truths about what mentally strong people don’t do, making this book both inspiring and relatable.
The 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
Let’s take a deeper dive into Amy Morin’s 13 life-changing lessons. These aren’t just feel-good platitudes—they’re practical, actionable principles you can start applying today.
1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
Life can be incredibly unfair, and sometimes, it’s downright brutal. But mentally strong people know that self-pity is like quicksand—it pulls you down and keeps you stuck. Instead of asking, “Why me?”, they ask, “What now?”.
Instead of replaying your misfortunes on loop, mentally strong people focus on gratitude. They acknowledge their pain but don’t let it define them. Every setback becomes a chance to grow stronger.
Real-Life Example: Amy shares the story of a man who lost his leg in an accident. It would’ve been easy for him to give up on life, but he chose a different path. He worked hard, pushed through challenges, and became a Paralympic athlete. His story is a powerful reminder that self-pity never leads to success—action does.
2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power
Letting others control your emotions or decisions is a surefire way to feel powerless. Mentally strong people take responsibility for their feelings and actions. They refuse to let toxic people, unfair bosses, or harsh critics dictate their self-worth.
This doesn’t mean they’re cold or dismissive. They simply set healthy boundaries, speak up when necessary, and remind themselves that they are in charge of their own happiness.
Try This: Next time someone’s words sting, pause and ask yourself, “Do I want to let their negativity ruin my day?”
3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change
Let’s face it: change can be terrifying. But mentally strong people see it as an opportunity rather than a threat. Whether it’s moving to a new city, starting a different career, or letting go of toxic relationships, they lean into the discomfort and trust that growth is on the other side.
They know the secret: staying stuck in the familiar is often more painful than taking the leap.
4. They Don’t Focus on Things They Can’t Control
Have you ever wasted an entire day stressing over something you couldn’t change? Maybe it was bad weather, a delayed flight, or someone else’s bad mood. Mentally strong people don’t fall into that trap. Instead, they focus their energy on what they can control—their attitude, reactions, and effort.
Pro Tip: Practice saying, “Is this within my control?”. If the answer is no, let it go.
5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
It’s natural to want to be liked, but trying to make everyone happy is a losing game. Mentally strong people prioritize authenticity over approval. They’re not afraid to say no or stand up for what they believe in, even if it means facing criticism.
This doesn’t mean they’re unkind or selfish—they simply recognize that staying true to themselves is more important than winning a popularity contest.
6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
Risks aren’t inherently bad—it’s the way you approach them that matters. Mentally strong people take the time to weigh the pros and cons, consider potential outcomes, and prepare themselves for challenges. They embrace the possibility of failure, knowing it’s often the quickest way to grow.
Example: Imagine applying for a dream job that feels out of reach. It’s risky, but the reward could be life-changing. Mentally strong people take that shot.
7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past
The past can feel like a heavy backpack you carry everywhere. But mentally strong people know that dwelling on past mistakes or pain only robs you of today’s opportunities. Instead, they focus on the lessons the past taught them and use those lessons to move forward.
Try This: The next time you catch yourself replaying a past mistake, ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?”. Then redirect your energy to the present.
8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
We all mess up—it’s part of being human. But mentally strong people make it a priority to learn from their mistakes. They reflect on what went wrong, adjust their approach, and try again.
It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being willing to grow.
9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
Jealousy is a natural emotion, but dwelling on it only hurts you. Mentally strong people celebrate others’ successes and use them as inspiration. They know someone else’s win doesn’t diminish their own worth.
Tip: The next time jealousy sneaks in, turn it into motivation. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from their success?”.
10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure
Failure isn’t the end of the road—it’s just a detour. Mentally strong people know that persistence is the key to success. They view every failure as a chance to learn, grow, and try again.
Real-Life Example: Thomas Edison’s journey to inventing the lightbulb included 10,000 failed attempts. He famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time
Alone time isn’t loneliness—it’s a chance to reflect, recharge, and reconnect with yourself. Mentally strong people use solitude to clarify their goals, evaluate their progress, and simply enjoy their own company.
Pro Tip: Schedule 15 minutes of alone time every day. Use it to journal, meditate, or simply sit quietly.
12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything
Entitlement leads to disappointment. Mentally strong people understand that life doesn’t hand out rewards just because you think you deserve them. Instead, they focus on putting in the effort and practicing gratitude for what they have.
13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
We live in a world of instant gratification, but mentally strong people know that big dreams take time. Whether it’s building a career, saving for a goal, or improving a relationship, they stay patient and committed.
Tip: Celebrate small wins along the way. Progress, no matter how small, is still progress.
By internalizing these 13 principles, you’ll start to notice a shift in your mindset, resilience, and overall happiness. Which one will you start with?
Real-Life Examples That Hit Home
Amy doesn’t just talk the talk—her own life story is a testament to these principles. After losing her mother, her husband, and her father-in-law within a short span of time, she had every reason to give up. Instead, she channeled her pain into writing this book, proving the power of mental toughness.
Why You Should Try These Habits Today
If you’re tired of feeling stuck or weighed down by life’s challenges, adopting these habits (or avoiding the 13 pitfalls) could transform the way you approach everything from relationships to career goals.
Join the Conversation!
What’s one thing from this list that you feel inspired to tackle? Let’s chat in the comments below! Whether it’s setting boundaries, embracing change, or letting go of self-pity, we’re all in this together.
Remember, mental strength is like a muscle—the more you work at it, the stronger you become.
5 powerful quotes from 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin
💬 1. “Mental strength is not about acting tough; it’s about finding the courage to be vulnerable.”
True strength isn’t about bottling things up—it’s about acknowledging your emotions and choosing to grow through them.
💬 2. “You are only as mentally strong as your willingness to take responsibility for your life.”
Taking ownership is the first step toward change. No more blaming, no more excuses.
💬 3. “Gratitude doesn’t mean you ignore your problems. It means you choose to focus on what’s going well.”
A subtle but powerful mindset shift. Gratitude can coexist with grief, pain, and difficulty—and help you move forward.
💬 4. “Letting someone else make you feel inferior gives them power over you.”
Protect your mindset. You don’t need to internalize every opinion thrown your way.
💬 5. “You don’t need to control everything—just the things that matter most.”
Life gets a lot lighter when you stop fighting what’s out of your hands and start focusing on what is within your control.
